Build IRL Newsletter #22

make joining harder, our personal whys, denim soiree, and more!

Howdy B.IRL Gang,

Colt & Saum from Build IRL here 👋.

Reporting from NY where the Fall colors are in full glory🍂🍁.

We’re pumped to meet fellow builders and social connection aficionados on the east coast! More on that next week.

In this week’s edition:

• Power of pause - Sharing our personal ‘why’

• Making joining “harder” is good?

• Club Spotlight: Objet

• Our upcoming east coast roadshow✈️🚄

• Upcoming builder events🥳

01/ Sharing our personal ‘why’ + Power of pause

Last week, Colt and I shared our personal “why” for starting Build IRL at a special gathering hosted by the Rugged Elegance Foundation and Unity SF.

Colton:

“Imagine immigrating to the US with nothing but determination. That's my family's story—a classic tale of hard work and the American Dream. But today, I want to highlight another side of that story — it's less about hard work and grit, and more about connection and joy.

My parents had a secret weapon — an abundance of aunties — our loving neighbors who embraced us. Auntie Bea cared for us when my parents worked late. Uncle George snuck us pocket change for snacks. And Auntie Tanya who guided me to apply for a scholarship that changed my life.”

Saum:

“The world stopped with Covid. My world stopped too but for a very different reason — I became a mother. It was all jumbled up at first — sleepless nights and baseless fears. But then my daughter held my arms and I felt the purest, most profound connection and love.

Around the same time I came across the CDC report stating that 50% of US adults feel persistently lonely. 75% don't feel attached to a local community. And, lacking social connection is as dangerous as smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day. My heart shrunk.

I did not grow up in a world like this.
Colton did not grow up in a world like this.
I did not want my baby girl to grow up in a world like this.
And so we had to do something about it. ”

As we admired the stunning windows of Unity SF, sunlight illuminated a powerful quote in the stained glass:

“Thoughts become things.” — Rev. Jim Johnson

Build IRL was just a thought 6 months ago! We smiled.

We are deeply grateful to Jennifer King and Timothy Fredel for creating this special moment, helping us embrace the power of pause. A big thank you to JD Schramm for instilling boldness and confidence on stage. And to Rev. Ken and the Unity team for fostering a magical space for community and meaningful connections.

Misa Malone, the music minister at Unity SF, closed the gathering on a high note. We found ourselves dancing to her uplifting rendition of “High Hopes.”

02/ Making joining “harder” is good.🕺🏽

🤔 Wait, what? Making joining “harder” is actually a good thing?

We’ve been chatting about how everyone should join something awesome. How does making it harder help us get there?

Joining isn’t just a click—it’s a commitment. Counter to existing platforms that brag about a single click “sign-up”, we want to make it easy for IRL builders to curate who joins.

The right members bring the right energy! 🎉 Think applications, dues, and referrals—these introduce just the right kind of friction to make people feel ownership and actually show up! Take the Freemasons or Rotary Clubs, for example. These organizations rely on a referral system and membership dues that create accountability and foster stronger bonds between members.🤝

What we don’t mean by this is to make things “inaccessible” or create socio-economic walled gardens. What we do mean by this is to create a neutral ground that joiners care about. A ‘deeper’ joining process helps curating the right people (remember Sven? 😉), encouraging commitment, and building a sense of ownership. So members don’t just click to join—they show up and actively co-create.

Got examples of clubs doing this right? 🕵️‍♂️ Hit up the link below to join our waitlist for the next cohort!

03/ Club Spotlight: Objet ♠️🃏

Embedding memories in your denims? What?

Y’all know we love hyping up awesome builders and clubs, so we’re stoked to spotlight another one this week — Kev and his Club Objet! 🔥

In a world where we toss everything (including relationships!), Objet is here to bring the magic back. Here is their manifesto. They believe in quality pieces that tell stories and ignite connection. Let’s ditch the disposable vibe and celebrate what matters!

Join us for local soirées with a French twist in SF! Bring a fave piece of clothing, and we’ll hook you up with custom labels sewn on by local tailors. Every label lets you share memories and stay connected. Let’s make our clothes eternal! 🎉💖”

Don’t miss their upcoming soirée on Oct 4 - Register Here!

04/ Our upcoming east coast roadshow✈️🚄

We're on the road for our first Build IRL road trip! 🚗💨

We are in NYC and DC this fall to meet fellow builders and social connectors:

🗽 NYC: Sept 30, Oct 1, Oct 2
🌟 DC: Oct 3, Oct 4

If you're in NYC or DC and building IRL communities, social clubs, social connection, or just wanna connect, hit us up! We’d love to meet IRL. 🙌💬

05/ Upcoming builder events🥳

Want to join in on the fun? Per usual sharing a few great upcoming gatherings hosted by builders in our community:

Here's the info for the next open air setting dance event, thanks for helping spread the word

10.26.24 | Swing at Lakeside Landing by The Doghouse SF

Evening of dance that will start with a swing lesson and followed by a fantastic evening of dancing outdoors with your fellow locals!

That’s all folks! Keep building 🛠️

-Saum & Colt